T.I.T.

I want to tell you all about something John and I call "T.I.T." Don't be shocked. I'll explain.

T.I.T. is actually John's phrase, which was born from the movie Blood Diamond, where Leonardo DiCaprio explains unfathomable situations to people by saying "T.I.A....This is Africa." Of course, T.I.T. means "This is Taiwan" and we say it when there are no other words for something, no possible explanation for a situation, nothing to say at all but to shrug and say, "T.I.T."

John began to say it early on, when we started noticing things you would never, ever see in American daily life. Here are a few examples of where uttering T.I.T. is appropriate:

• When you order a pitcher of beer in the bowling alley, and the cups that accompany it are tiny, glass mugs that hold about one sip of beer each.
  
• I've mentioned it before, but the trash trucks that blare Fur Elise around the neighborhood when it's time to get rid of your garbage.
• When people walk so slowly in front of you that it's uncomfortable and your back hurts.
• When trying on clothes in an un-air conditioned dressing room when the rest of the store is air conditioned. It's great in 100 degree heat, trying on dress pants that are sticking to your legs while your hair slowly becomes plastered to your forehead with sweat.
  
• When trying on clothes in that same dressing room without a mirror. I've only ever seen one or two stores that have mirrors in the dressing room!
  
• When you order for three people in a restaurant, and the food comes out all on one plate, leaving you to your own creativity to figure out how to eat lunch.
• When you get a look of total confusion after asking for water with a giant, sodium-rich, dim sum dinner.
• When waiting at the bus stop. As the bus approaches, everyone waives wildly to catch the driver's attention until it comes to a complete stop in front of them.
• When riding on the bus, and you know the driver is just stomping on the gas and the break, causing people to completely fall over.
  
• When eating at a restaurant and your waitress takes your order wearing thigh-high stockings, high heels, a mini skirt, and a trucker hat that says only, "FU** THE WORLD." (only no asterisks)
• When you arrive at a huge, beautiful beach, and notice that everybody, like a hundred people, save a few, are crammed into one tiny section of water, roped off like the shallow end of a swimming pool. The few that are not in the ocean/pool are westerners who have walked down the beach a ways and decided to find their own place, away from the zillion people, to hang out.
• When you order breakfast in a restaurant and are forced to choose a little cake from the glass case.
• When you eat breakfast in that same restaurant and notice that every single one of the waiters are standing just a few feet away, staring at you (the whole time!).
  
• When you go to the bathroom and find a porch swing and a couple lawn chairs in there.
  
• When you are asked to do a TV commercial and you do it.

These are just a few situations; the list keeps getting longer. Sometimes they're amusing, sometimes maddening. It really depends on your state of mind. When we're wandering around the city, some of these things can make us laugh till we can't breathe, or at least make us furrow our brows at each other in confusion. When I'm in a hurry going to work, that's when they're not so funny. That's when they make me want to scream instead of laugh.

The best example of T.I.T. though, was maybe a month ago, when John and I were walking near our house. We rounded a corner, and there, enormous, on the side of a building, was a huge poster that said simply, "TIT." We just stared at each other. This is Taiwan.

Gettin Scooter Savvy

You sit waiting, breathing deeply as you try and relax your fingers. Gone from one caravan to travel amongst another that seemed so mystical and frightening. That's right, man, I finally bought a scooter and am learning to traverse the insane city streets of Taipei! I think its name will be Satchmo cause she's like Jazz on wheels. For seven months we have been using the public transport here, and trust me, it has been unbelievably good. But there was something missing.
I've always loved the feeling of independence that comes while cruising with the windows rolled down, the sun shining down and the cool breeze blowing across your face. I've missed that. Course, Satchmo has no windows. And the air in Taipei is anything but cool here in early July. But that doesn't mean that it aint one of the most liberating feelings I've had in my whole life. The city jungle can seem pretty inescapable at times, a little suffocating. In only three days Mel and I have been able to find places of refuge that I never knew were literally "around the corner."
It still remains a bit sketchy, especially when a taxi is pulling away from the curb as the bus races towards it while you are somewhere in between. But you get by. Have so far. Plan to in the future. We've yet to leave the city on ol' jazz wheels but I imagine we'll be gone tomorrow. Mel and I went down to a place called "the Diner" that serves Western style breakfasts, had some pancakes and then cruised back home. Unreal, reminds me of Denver in a very Asian way. Denver with palm fronds.
Oh yeah Mel bought a Tamagotchi egg! Yeah, remember those. She couldn't pass it up, a bit of nostalgia for four dollars! No way to pass that up.
Anyways we hope you are all well and in good health. Love you