hao keng bu!

So I had something really scary happen to me on the MRT the other day. I mean really horrifying. I was on my way home on Friday, finishing up a crossword in the newspaper and getting excited for the weekend to come. I was sitting on the end of a row of three seats and there were two other women next to me. The woman in the middle was carrying a bag full of persimmons and oranges and things. So as I was sitting there, continuing the crossword, I saw some movement out of the corner of my eye from the woman with the bag of fruit. I thought it was some bit of hair moving, but when I finally looked over at her sleeve where the movement was coming from I found that it wasn't a chunk of hair at all but a gigantic freaking centipede crawling around! She must have noticed it at the exact same time I did because right when I saw it, she jumped up out of her seat, throwing the entire bag of fruit into the air and furiously started beating at her shirt to get the insect off as quickly as possible. Me and the woman who was on the other side of the fruit lady immediately started searching for the bug, which was now nowhere to be seen. The train started slowing to the next stop, and the woman and I shared this moment like, "Oh man, where is that thing?" As the fruit lady was picking up her oranges which were rolling all over the place, the other woman and I were desperately searching our own clothes and and bags and hair, wanting to know where that horrendous thing was, but definitely not wanting to find it anywhere close. Finally, just as the MRT doors were opening, I saw it right there on the front of the other lady's shirt! Without thinking, I took my newspaper and totally beat this woman with it, causing the centipede to fall right onto the now vacant seat. She immediately was like, "Oh! Xie xie!" and I was breathing this sigh of relief saying, "Oh my god!" and everyone else around us tried to get a good look at it as they exited the train. The centipede was seriously, maybe five inches long and had a million of these long, comb-like legs coming straight out of the sides. I don't know for sure if it had the capability of stinging or biting, but it looked like it could most definitely kill a full-grown human being. For the entirety of my walk home from the MRT station I could feel things crawling on me and had to reassure myself that I indeed did knock it onto the seat and that it indeed did not jump back up in an amazing feat to hide inside my bag. So that was my Friday night story. Hao keng bu!

Exercises

Now that I've been here for a good while (about a year...yikes!) I've found myself starting to wonder what stuff is totally unique to Taiwan, and what stuff occurs in the US as well. The line's becoming fuzzy, and I catch myself thinking, "Wait, do they do this back home too and I just don't remember, or am I witnessing something seriously weird here?"

Example: The Exercises.

There's a big cultural difference in health and fitness here, one of them being these peculiar exercises people do. These are most often seen in a park or other outdoor area; sometimes on a busy sidewalk. I remember people in the US stretching in public or maybe raising their arms a bit to squeeze in as many health benefits as possible into a morning jog or brisk walk. Here though, they go all out. Aside from the Tai Chi seen quite frequently, you also will see people rhythmically slapping themselves on the arm, under the chin, or right on the butt. I've seen people do it standing still or walking. Self-slapping is huge here. They slap their bellies, legs, and back (like they're giving themselves a pat on the back...it's nice). I saw some partner slapping the other day as I was jogging through Chiang Kai-Shek memorial hall. A woman was standing with her arms out like a T, and a man was standing behind her, patting her on the hips. It reminded me of one of those 1950's fat shaking machines. Oh and probably the best one of all in the slapping category is tree-slapping. It's exactly what it sounds like. Somebody standing there, slapping the trunk of a tree. I don't know if it's supposed to be good for the person or for the tree. Maybe it's mutually beneficial.
In addition to the slapping, there's also a variety of circling and flailings. I've seen some people, while walking very fast, instead of bringing their arms in in a jogging/speed walking position, just throw them out straight in front and behind, as high and flail-y as possible. John told me about a woman he saw on the sidewalk with her arms straight out to the sides, making small flapping movements like a bird. He said he tried it to see what it was like.
I know people like to jog in place at a red light to keep the momentum up, but a couple months back as I was waiting to cross the street, I noticed a woman next to me...I'm not sure how to put it any better...just flailing. Her whole body, flailing. Legs were kicking out in all directions. Arms moving nonsensically in huge motions, every which way. And in case you're wondering, she didn't yo wen ti (have problems) she was just exercising.
There are so many more; I love when people jog backwards. What does that do? I've wanted to get pictures, but I'm always too nervous to do it. When I ask Taiwanese people about these exercises, they either look at me like I'm crazy and the only one seeing them, or they simply say, "for health" like how could I not know that slapping oneself on the shoulder is healthy, duh!

Hope everyone's good at home. Oh yeah, we're going on our contract break vacation this week for two weeks. We're flying into Bangkok first and staying there for a few days, then we're meeting some friends and are going to travel through Cambodia with them for about a week. After that we're heading to Vietnam and will fly out of Ho Chi Minh back to Taipei. We're so excited! Will definitely be posting pics to Flickr right when we return!
Love you all,
Melanie

Here's my TV debut...the Shane Commercial!

T.I.T.

I want to tell you all about something John and I call "T.I.T." Don't be shocked. I'll explain.

T.I.T. is actually John's phrase, which was born from the movie Blood Diamond, where Leonardo DiCaprio explains unfathomable situations to people by saying "T.I.A....This is Africa." Of course, T.I.T. means "This is Taiwan" and we say it when there are no other words for something, no possible explanation for a situation, nothing to say at all but to shrug and say, "T.I.T."

John began to say it early on, when we started noticing things you would never, ever see in American daily life. Here are a few examples of where uttering T.I.T. is appropriate:

• When you order a pitcher of beer in the bowling alley, and the cups that accompany it are tiny, glass mugs that hold about one sip of beer each.
  
• I've mentioned it before, but the trash trucks that blare Fur Elise around the neighborhood when it's time to get rid of your garbage.
• When people walk so slowly in front of you that it's uncomfortable and your back hurts.
• When trying on clothes in an un-air conditioned dressing room when the rest of the store is air conditioned. It's great in 100 degree heat, trying on dress pants that are sticking to your legs while your hair slowly becomes plastered to your forehead with sweat.
  
• When trying on clothes in that same dressing room without a mirror. I've only ever seen one or two stores that have mirrors in the dressing room!
  
• When you order for three people in a restaurant, and the food comes out all on one plate, leaving you to your own creativity to figure out how to eat lunch.
• When you get a look of total confusion after asking for water with a giant, sodium-rich, dim sum dinner.
• When waiting at the bus stop. As the bus approaches, everyone waives wildly to catch the driver's attention until it comes to a complete stop in front of them.
• When riding on the bus, and you know the driver is just stomping on the gas and the break, causing people to completely fall over.
  
• When eating at a restaurant and your waitress takes your order wearing thigh-high stockings, high heels, a mini skirt, and a trucker hat that says only, "FU** THE WORLD." (only no asterisks)
• When you arrive at a huge, beautiful beach, and notice that everybody, like a hundred people, save a few, are crammed into one tiny section of water, roped off like the shallow end of a swimming pool. The few that are not in the ocean/pool are westerners who have walked down the beach a ways and decided to find their own place, away from the zillion people, to hang out.
• When you order breakfast in a restaurant and are forced to choose a little cake from the glass case.
• When you eat breakfast in that same restaurant and notice that every single one of the waiters are standing just a few feet away, staring at you (the whole time!).
  
• When you go to the bathroom and find a porch swing and a couple lawn chairs in there.
  
• When you are asked to do a TV commercial and you do it.

These are just a few situations; the list keeps getting longer. Sometimes they're amusing, sometimes maddening. It really depends on your state of mind. When we're wandering around the city, some of these things can make us laugh till we can't breathe, or at least make us furrow our brows at each other in confusion. When I'm in a hurry going to work, that's when they're not so funny. That's when they make me want to scream instead of laugh.

The best example of T.I.T. though, was maybe a month ago, when John and I were walking near our house. We rounded a corner, and there, enormous, on the side of a building, was a huge poster that said simply, "TIT." We just stared at each other. This is Taiwan.

Gettin Scooter Savvy

You sit waiting, breathing deeply as you try and relax your fingers. Gone from one caravan to travel amongst another that seemed so mystical and frightening. That's right, man, I finally bought a scooter and am learning to traverse the insane city streets of Taipei! I think its name will be Satchmo cause she's like Jazz on wheels. For seven months we have been using the public transport here, and trust me, it has been unbelievably good. But there was something missing.
I've always loved the feeling of independence that comes while cruising with the windows rolled down, the sun shining down and the cool breeze blowing across your face. I've missed that. Course, Satchmo has no windows. And the air in Taipei is anything but cool here in early July. But that doesn't mean that it aint one of the most liberating feelings I've had in my whole life. The city jungle can seem pretty inescapable at times, a little suffocating. In only three days Mel and I have been able to find places of refuge that I never knew were literally "around the corner."
It still remains a bit sketchy, especially when a taxi is pulling away from the curb as the bus races towards it while you are somewhere in between. But you get by. Have so far. Plan to in the future. We've yet to leave the city on ol' jazz wheels but I imagine we'll be gone tomorrow. Mel and I went down to a place called "the Diner" that serves Western style breakfasts, had some pancakes and then cruised back home. Unreal, reminds me of Denver in a very Asian way. Denver with palm fronds.
Oh yeah Mel bought a Tamagotchi egg! Yeah, remember those. She couldn't pass it up, a bit of nostalgia for four dollars! No way to pass that up.
Anyways we hope you are all well and in good health. Love you

The Smells

Another month here. Six months in total. I've said this a million times but sometimes it feels like we've been here forever and sometimes it feels like it's been just a few short days. Whenever I get a whiff of some smell that takes me back to the first few days...that's when it feels like forever.

When I walk by "The Love Hotel" aka our first home here, I get that feeling. The whole alley has the same smell: one of really thick flowery perfume covering up sewage. It changes smell ratio, too. Sometimes I smell the perfume more and sometimes the sewage. Everything comes flooding back when I smell it. I see John and I in the taxi just an hour after we landed, staring out the windows and staring at each other, not knowing what to say. I see myself saying "xie xie" (shey shey) for the first time and noticing how weird it felt to make those words. I see myself looking out the hotel window, trying to will the sun out from behind the clouds, hoping it would make the world outside feel just the tiniest bit like home.

The smell of head office does the same thing, too. It makes me think of those days when I made a mental note of everything I saw on the way there, trying desperately to familiarize myself with Roosevelt Road, always forgetting where the good dumpling place was. It makes me think of looking dumbfounded at my bank card for the first time. There's a cartoon character on there! Crazy!

The 7-11s all have a distinct smell. I think it's the eggs. They all have these crock pots full of black-shelled eggs. I think they were once white-shelled, but become black after stewing in the black liquid for some time. You would think they'd smell awful, but they actually smell kind of cinnamon-y...like Christmas. Christmasy or not, though, I still haven't mustered up the strength to fish one out and give it a try. I'll stick with just smelling them. For now.

I've heard that smell is the sense strongest tied to memory, and I believe it. This city is full of smells. Smells that creep up on you slowly and make you think, "Wait, what am I smelling? Are you smelling that?" And others that stomp right up to you and slap you on the face making you say, "Oh, man! What IS that?!" Even though most are strong, not all of them are bad. Just different--SO different. I think some of them I'll never be able to describe in more detail than just, "Wow, it totally smelled like Taiwan just now."

Purple Mountain's Majesty

Well we've returned from the vacation that ate all other vacations! A 10 day trek from Taipei, Taiwan to L.A. to Denver to Montana (Glasgow, fifty miles from Canada), back to Denver then on to L.A. and finally, back to Taipei. The goal? Surprise an unexpecting sister shortly before her wedding day. Did it work? Not exactly.
It is still my belief that there was a twinge of doubt in her mind as to whether or not Melanie and I were in the States. However, I must concede that my sister is far more clever than I gave her credit for. Having not logged onto Skype (a free internet phone service, fricking awesome!) since we left on the 19th, in combination with a minor slip-up from one of our accomplices my sleuth sister became quite certain of the facts and the perfect plot was foiled. But it was still a great ride and she didn't let on that she knew until the last possible moment. Kudos sis!
The wedding was a really great time. The ceremony was wonderful and Faith and Scott Redstone (whoooaaaa!!!) transformed the old Elks lodge club room (equipped with Elk's heads) into a classy and beautiful reception hall. The food was fantastic, the live country band rocked and the conversation was great. One of the best parts of the evening was the auction for the garter. This is a Glasgow tradition to collect start-up cash for the bride and groom. We stood barely able to stop laughing as the cattle auctioneer collected bids for over an hour! "Twenty-five,twenty-five a little bit more money, thirty and a thirty and a little bit more..." and so on. In the end, a little boy won with one dollar and a grand total of $3100! So basically, Mel and I are having our wedding in Montana.
The trip was an amazing race through the land we can truly call home. After five months in a different reality we caught a glimpse of what it will be like when we finish this journey. And while we aren't sure when that will be, we are more certain now than ever that our true home is with family and friends. Our desire for adventure compels us to continue onward and discover more about this country, the language and culture and ourselves. But we do know that one day we will be back in beautiful Colorado nestled somewhere amongst the rugged pines and aspen groves.
It was a rushed vacation and our only regret is that we didn't get to spend time with everyone and only a small amount with some. Please don't be angry with us, for we would have loved to spend everyday with everyone and we all know this can't ever be the case. But take the knowledge that you are all in our hearts and thoughts everyday. You know, flying in the air at 15thousand feet, there is no other choice but to familiarize oneself with a total lack of control. When you have no control, you have to let go of all those things that bind us everyday. So my wish to you all is that you find happiness everyday with no boundaries. Give up some of the control and enjoy the ride. Don't worry, the captain has turned off the fasten seat belts sign.

just a little reflection...

Not writing to describe some great trip we went on or wonderful place we saw, I was just looking through my journal, back at the beginning before we left, and noticing how much things have changed in these past couple months.
It's funny to think that the place I'm in now was what I was desperately longing for a while ago--being in Taiwan for a couple months, knowing the ropes, feeling less scared and more calm. And it does feel good. I find myself sitting on the MRT, looking around and suddenly noticing, "Wow, everyone's speaking Chinese."
I didn't even know what the MRT was three months ago, and now I'm overhearing Chinese phone conversations, understanding a word here and there. I know a few characters, know how to ride the bus (which is scary), know how to pay. I know how to order a coffee (pretty much), and don't feel embarrassed for not knowing the Chinese and having to gesture and draw pictures. It usually makes for a good laugh anyway. I have new favorite foods that I know I wouldn't have liked if I tried them in the States. The staring, which used to always make me feel self-conscious and like a complete outsider, doesn't bother me as much. It's not as scary to try something new, since I have to try something new every day just to get by.
Of course, these are things I'm thinking when I'm having a good day. When I'm having a bad day, well, that's different. That's more like, "Of course my MRT card isn't scanning. Why would it when there's a line of ten people waiting behind me? What are you staring at? Why do you have to stare for so long? Can't I order something that doesn't have pork in it? And why do my students have to scream every thing they say?"
But at the end of the day, it's these little annoyances that I love.
Teaching English in Taiwan is a unique experience, and what fun would it be if it were easy? It's also a lot of fun to gripe about the the peculiarities of Taiwan life with fellow waiguoren (foreigners). For example, there have been many conversations about this mysterious, psychic ability people in front of you have for knowing exactly where you want to go, and walking (very slowly) at a perfect angle so as to thwart you from getting around on either side. This can go on for five minutes before you find an opening somewhere to escape through; usually between two closely parked scooters.
It feels good to be learning so much every day. And not learning by reading about something or listening to someone talk about something, but by actively doing. Learning things that are actually important in my life right now, like where the ATM is, how to say 'sorry,' never buying starfruit juice again (you'd think it would be good, wouldn't you?), and more English grammar than I ever knew existed/can handle.
So my advice to someone feeling rather stagnant: pick up and move to a foreign country, or just try something new today.

Tainan Vacation

So we've just come back from our very first vacation since we've been here and it was awesome. We went to Tainan which is way down south, about two hours on the HSR (high speed rail) with our friend, Debbie. It was similar to Taipei in some ways, but definitely had a different feel. Things weren't as bustling, there were lots of trees, and the people were SO friendly.

We took a transfer bus from the high speed rail station into Tainan city, and the guy sitting next to John said the people in Tainan were the friendliest in Taiwan. That definitely proved to be true as we explored the city. Any time we gathered around the map to see which street we were on, someone was always right there, asking if we needed help. Once, when we were looking for a street at an intersection, a woman standing next to us noticed us looking lost and asked where we were going. When she wasn't sure exactly where the street was, she asked a guy in a car that was waiting at the red light next to us. The guy got out, followed by his wife and kids, and they all figured out the best way to get to the street we were looking for. By the time we said our goodbyes, a policeman had also wandered over and offered his knowledge of the city, as well.

We spent three days and two nights in Tainan, ate some amazing food, and practiced our Chinese a lot. The first night, after we grabbed some dinner in an interesting hot-pot type restaurant, we found a pub and met some new friends. A guy who later introduced himself as "Mr. Chang" sat down with us at our table with all his friends. They spoke about as much English as we do Chinese, but that didn't stop us from hanging out for about three hours and having some great laughs. We were all thankful that John brought along the Chinese-English dictionary. It got some good use.

The second day we decided to do some sight-seeing. Tainan was originally the capital of Taiwan, and is full of history. We saw more temples than we could keep track of. After a long day of historical site after historical site, we decided to go to a bar and grill called "Willie's Second Base Bar and Grill" which is owned by ex-LA Dodgers pitcher Steve Wilson. We took a cab and it ended up that the bar no longer existed, so we asked/mimed to the cab driver to take us to any good restaurant. We ended up in a very nice dim sum restaurant which was yet again another great opportunity to use our Chinese/English dictionary. It turned out to be a great meal.

After dinner, and some walking around, we found (again!) a really nice little bar. Everyone seemed a bit nervous when we walked in there, and communicated that nobody really spoke English except one waitress who we ended up having a great language exchange with. Her name was Ting Ting and she said she was looking for an English name. We offered to help think of some and it was really fun coming up with a long list of names. She also wrote our names in Chinese and told us what they meant.

The last day of our visit we stumbled across an incredible curry restaurant called "Pumpkin Curry" which served all things pumpkin and curry, of course. After that we went to Anping, which has some of the oldest streets in Taiwan. We saw an old Dutch fort and went up in a tower that gave us a great view of Anping. We also saw a really great Eagles/Air Supply cover band who played "Take it Easy" for the Maegworens (Americans...us).

We ended our trip with a walk down a night market in Anping which was by far the most intense and crowded night market over any we've been to. We collected some nice stuff to take home-charms, fans, whistles, and some great pineapple cakes.

So our first trip out of Taipei was a fantastic one, and we're all looking forward to getting out again! We also took about a hundred pictures if you want to see Tainan.

The Year of the Rat!

No folks I'm not speaking about Melanie. 2008 is the year of the rat! It doesn't technically begin until February 6th but I figured that it is close enough. So we've been here for a while and things are getting a little easier. We now have a microwave, making our noodle creations far easier to generate. We are cruising the MRT like it were the beautiful highways of Colorado. And we are teaching children the best Spanish that money can buy. Well okay, we don't have it all together but we're getting there.
I think that some of the wide-eyed amazement is beginning to wear off, and slowly but surely Mel and I are becoming a part of the bustling city, not so much two honkeys with our jaws dropped. The jobs are getting easier, and more challenging at the same time. Teaching, as some of you well know, is a wonderful experience that is truly rewarding, that is if you're not pulling your hair out (as long as its not the kid's hair, right?). But we are both enjoying the challenge of it all and taking it one day at a time. It has been consuming more time than we'd planned on, but so far we don't seem to mind it much. Just yesterday I played the role of Dr. English that consisted of giving free English level tests to Taiwanese kids on the street in a labcoat! One little girl had never spoken to a Westerner before! It was cool, but she must have been scared silly. Some crazy white dude smiling and speaking in some strange jibberish, dressed in a long white coat with "monkeys jumping on the bed" playing sadistically in the background. Sorry, bit of a tangent there.
Anyway, we went to a place called Dansui that is right at the river mouth that opens to the East China Sea. We had a great time walking by the river, experiencing a little fresh sea air and, of course, eating very strange and delicious foods. We heard a man playing a saw, very Appalachian, saw a freak museum with a dog fetus in a bowl of water, and went into our first Buddhist shrine. Su has been really great and has been showing us around, ordering good food for us, and explaining what many things mean. We have been blessed to have found good people so quickly.
We miss you all and love you lots! Hope that your New Year brings you the best of luck and boatloads of money!